Your family or your ministry: who gets your best?

In ministry, the demands never stop. Sermons, meetings, and the needs of people can easily consume your best energy. But here’s the hard truth: when ministry always comes first, family quietly comes second. Over time, the people closest to you get the leftovers of your heart, while the church gets your strength. The question every leader must face is simple: Who gets your best—your ministry or your family?

Scripture reminds us that leadership begins at home. “If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?” (1 Timothy 3:5). And again: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church” (Ephesians 5:25). God never intended family to be sidelined in the name of ministry.

Work and ministry matter, but they are not the same as your relationship with God, and they must never replace the covenant you share with your family. Ministry is what you do; family is who you are. One is a calling, the other is a covenant. When those lines blur, hurry and busyness steal from the very people you’re called to cherish most.

As a coach and spiritual director, I walk with pastors and leaders in Spokane, Seattle, Portland, and across the Pacific Northwest who wrestle with these questions every day. Through Coaching the Red Line, we create space to slow down, reflect, and reorder priorities so that your family—and your ministry—can both thrive.

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