God is not an ogre

At the county fair this week, I had dozens of conversations about God. I found myself repeating again and again: God is not an ogre. He’s not going to force us into a friendship with Himself.

That’s not who He is. He’s not sitting on a throne waiting to force Himself into our lives. He’s not like that.

Instead, God deeply desires relationship with us. He longs for union, for friendship, for connection. But like all true love, it’s reciprocal. It requires both sides to say “yes.”

Think about it this way: Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross was a gift. It was the way to get sin off our ledger, the way to remove the weight of guilt that none of us could fix on our own. But even that gift doesn’t impose itself on anyone. It’s offered, extended, made available. For it to change us, we must receive it. We must accept the grace given.

That’s the beauty of God’s love. It is freely given, never forced. It waits patiently. It pursues us without overpowering us. And when we open our hearts to receive Him, relationship begins—real, living, reciprocal relationship with the God who made us.

I feel this in my own work, too. As a spiritual director and coach, I would love to offer encouragement, guidance, and safe space to every pastor, minister, or leader I know and care about. But just like God’s love, coaching and spiritual direction can’t be forced. They have to be received.

I can extend the invitation. I can make the space available. But unless someone is willing, nothing happens. It’s a two-way relationship, just like the one God desires with us. And when it is received—when someone says “yes”—transformation and union begin to take root.

God is not an ogre. He offers Himself freely. The question is—are we willing to receive?

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